A late goodbye

I am back in Columbia finishing up school now. Florian and I talk about once a day over skype. I am super busy with Journalism classes. I miss Madrid and my friends muchisimo. But life is busy here, and there are friends to enjoy in Columbia too!

In Prague!

A quick update, lack of internet lately...

Berlin=awesome. I loved: Tiergarten, the sweet hippie cafe where Florian and I ate a vegetarian buffett breakfast and all the history. What an amazingly interesting city. We saw the wall, tons of commie apartment buildings, amazing uber-modern skyscrapers and a lot of great Doner Kebaps (Turkish gyro).

Before that I was in Giessen with Florian. It has been nice to be with more people who speak Spanish! Although the Argentinian accent of my dear friends can be hard to understand :). Early on I got to see Marburg, where Florian studies, which is just north of Giessen. It has a castle and several very old churches. We had a coffee at a cafe by the river. Between the river and the castle, I was ready to spend another month just in Marburg.

Also got to see Amsterdam with Helen and Allie, though the rain and lack of planning limited severly what I got to see. We still managed to enjoy ourselves. It is a beautiful city, loved the canals.

I am currently panicking about moving back to boring old America, trying not to get emotional about leaving Florian and trying to figure out this Czech language. I want to devote my life to studying languages.

Also wondering if I could handle the winters in Berlin. I am thinking no, but will you all still love me if I run away to Europe? I am very much looking forward to coming home. I am already planning potlucks in my head. And I am in desperate need of a good dance party, so you all have to fill me in on where to go now that Shattered is closed.

Love & besos! Be home soon!

My last night in Madrid

Looking forward to Germany.
Scared of how awful I'm going to feel when I have to go home.
Sad that this year is ending.
Tired from going out every night & don't feel like cleaning the kitchen.

I'm just going to focus on the first one. AND the fact that the European Cup final is tonight! Go Alemania!

Anna & I's home away from home:

Nearing the end

The title of my blog limits me a bit. But I'm going to keep it going through July when I will not be in Madrid. I'll be in Giessen, Germany!

Things I've done this week:
1. Got reprimanded by the super for talking too loud. Go figure.
2. Stole lavander to dry & make things smell pretty.
3. Watched Germany work their way into the final game of the Euro Cup!!
4. Hung out w/ two of my oldest friends (Helen & Allie were here!)
5. Kicked Flo's butt racing him back to his apartment. I'm faster, stronger, better.

Getting serious.

This is my second night in a row staying up way too late, but at least I accomplished something tonight! I am about 6 pages done with my supposedly 10 page paper. So basically, I have a really sweet introduction and a great outline of the meaty stuff which I'm avoiding until tomorrow. Going to turn the paper in on Thursday.

Tomorrow: Kyle, Kristin & Hannah!

Friday: First final. Should probably start studying for it. Also, Vincent is having a big dinner at his & John's piso that night (crepe!), which will be a lovely way to show off my life to my friends from home.

Eurovision '08

Last night we watched the Eurovision Song Contest & ate an amazing Italian meal. For the estadounidenses, this Eurovision thing is pretty freaking awesome. Think American Idol with less hate, more ridiculousness & more languages. It has been around since the '50s. Russia won. Mostly because of the Olympic ice skater in their act? What that has to do with music, I do not know. There were also Latvian pirates, fohawks & well, Spain. Most of the acts were bad pop with pretty outfits. Spain's submission...was original, to say the least:

In case you didn't catch it, the third dance move is the "maiquelyason" or Micheal Jackson. Sweet.

Fuegos Artificiales!!

Last night we met my friend Megan in Retiro Park for a picnic. A bunch of ERASMUS kids showed up and we had a good time listening to Vincent play the guitar. The weather is finally really nice here! There were cute little Spanish kids dressed up in costumes for the holiday and we saw some bats after the sun set, but clearly the light and firework show was the highlight.
Vale, here we've got a photo of the lovely Anna & friends in the radiance of the explosions. Super cool! Also a still of the lake and some of the first fireworks. The video didn't work, so I threw in another firework picture. Imagine music and explosion sounds!


































We had a big group and got desperately split up in the crowd, but we all met at a cueva in Sol afterwards. I first came to this bar in the fall with Giovanni and couldn't understand any of the quotes on the wall. It was very rewarding to realize how much I have learned this year! Also, John's mom is still in town and I got to talk to her again which was wonderful. And I finally taught Vincent the cup rhythm we've been working on. It was a great night. And I was in bed by 1:30!

Molly came this weekend!

I got to spend the weekend with Molly! On Friday we made stir fry and went out to La Vía Lactea in Malasaña with her friend Megan. Then some more of her American friends from Granada showed up and we went to El Laberinto. I've been to both places before-not too expensive, the music doesn't suck, the decorations are kitschy and Laberinto has a foosball table. Sweet! We sang David Bowie songs all the next day.

Saturday we walked around, I finally saw Madrid's cathedral. It seems much more modern than other cathedrals I have seen in Europe. The paintings were super colorful. After a long walk we ended up in Retiro with Florian and my friend Alicia. Good times, we sat in the shade (the weather here is incredible!) and tried to avoid getting sunburnt. The Prado was free after 6, so we saw some excellent Goya. That man was witty! He was commissioned for all these portraits of generals and royalty, but in his free time he sketched his political opinion out-very antiwar. He was awesome.
This morning I went to El Rastro with Molly-super dangerous. I wanted to buy every hippie summer dress in sight! She checked out the Reina Sofia-which I still need to do(!) and then headed back for Granada. But not before I made plans to possibly live in her unfinished basement next year. $150 rent? Yes.

Dinner party, photos & vegan possibilities?

Last night Anna made the most amazing Jamaican food for all of our friends (turns out we have quite a few!). It was a wonderful community celebration-everyone chipped in with the cooking and helped us with the food costs. We had a genuinely great time. I was exhausted for most of it, and at one point sitting on the couch next to Florian, I stuck my ear into each conversation in the room and realized that I have found a truly incredible group of people. I am so happy to be sharing my life with all of them right now!
Mati and Pablo taught us all the Argentinian national anthem, Patrick brought German beer for Florian, and Anna's jerk chicken sauce is on my list of favorite foods now.

In other news, I think I may become a vegan. Florian and I had an interesting conversation about whether or not to eat animals the other day, and it got me thinking. I believe God put animals on this earth for us to eat but I also see our unsustainable agricultural practices destroying the earth.
Now, I have only been seriously considering this for a few hours, so feel free to give me some advice. So far I've realized I'm going to miss scrambled eggs, Flat Branch burgers and salmon. Currently trying to figure out how bad the over-fishing problem really is. My exceptions would be: If you cook it for me, I'll eat it. Because over all, I still value people over animals (which I realized is in direct conflict with most vegan beliefs...). Second exception would be any free-range produce, that is, food from animals raised in a sustainable manner. I don't want to be a hypocrite about my beliefs, and this is definitely an area in my life where I feel I can be hypocritical (i.e. the McDonald's french fries I ate in Venice).

Finally, the photos you have all be waiting for:








1. Me and the hermanos in Andalucía! 2. Floating kid head! 3. It was rainy and cold. We were tired from all the relaxing in Spain. But whatever! Paris was amazing! 4. Those amazing friends I was telling you about. By this point in my 3 week long travels, I was exhausted, homesick and coughing a lot. They managed to put up with me and I love them for it!

Molly!

I called my Mom yesterday. Poor lady hadn't heard from me in like 2 weeks. I realized I'd even forgotten to reply to one of her emails! Being that I feel this need to communicate constantly, that was very unlike me. I realized a few days ago while talking to my italian friend Giovanni, I am not consumed with depression anymore. In fact, I love living in Madrid. Luckily, I have plenty of time left here. I am so glad I chose to do a year-long program.

Molly Moore, my good friend from Mizzou, is leaving today. She has been in Madrid staying with me all weekend and it has been a blast. I was a bad host and didn't take her to any museums or historic old buildings. But I did take her to a sweet house party where she practiced her spanish with a bunch of french and german students. It was so nice to go out in Madrid with a friend from home! It made me realize that my friends in Madrid are amazing. Everyone was so nice and would talk with Molly in her always-improving spanish, or english. At el Junco (where we watched the best blues show I've seen yet), my friend Florian even tried to buy her a beer. The beers were 7 euro. Seemed like an extra nice offer to me.

I can't remember which day now because the whole weekend was kind of blurred by staying out so late each night, but we found ourselves in Plaza Mayor at one point. We had gone out to see the city during siesta and everything was closed. It was kind of a downer until we got to the plaza. The sun was out and the day was beautiful (I honestly thing winter is over in Madrid, though I don't think it ever really came). The night before we had been reminiscing about hot summer days where you can't breathe and have to go for a swim to stay alive. Sitting in the sun, listening to this incredibly joyful guitarist, I could not have been more content. There has been a lot of happiness going around lately. Hopefully you can catch some of it too.

Last night Anna, Molly & I went to a bar in Sol for Molly's last night. It is a place Vincent has taken us before. It is small, dark and filled with cushions and hookahs. We were all exhausted from having so much fun, this was the perfect place to relax. Though someone walked off with Molly's jacket, which still makes me kind of sick, it was a great night. We smoked some peach hookah and talked with these colombian guys about la vida madrileña.

Some of my dearest friends have finally joined me over here. Sarah will soon be up north, Nancy is in Fez, meeting all kinds of amazing people-she has a moroccan roommate! Erin will be in Paris and Molly is about to get on a plane to Granada. The other night I skyped with Amy in France. I don't feel like I am missing out on as much now that everyone is off on their own adventures. I have also been very distracted by a nice german boy lately, so that might be why I am feeling less homesick.

Possibility

I have been thinking a lot about community lately. Being the liberal peace-loving hippie I am, community means a lot to me. I left my strong community in downtown Columbia to live abroad this year and sometimes I wonder why I gave up that family. What I didn't anticipate was what my community would look like in Madrid. I knew I would have one, but I expected it to focus around a café like my community in Columbia did. I expected it to be made up of madrileños and Spanish students.

Instead I find myself in a community of Erasmus students from all over Europe and our meeting place changes every night. I went out for a drink tonight with one of the first people I got to know in Madrid. Giovanni, this Italian guy that I thought looked so cool with his Ray-Bans. He has lived in several places and told me tonight about how he has the travel bug and wants to leave Madrid.

I knew living here would change me, but I didn't anticipate finding this international community. Tonight Giovanni and I marveled over how unique it was to have a community that isn't defined by a place. In fact, the opposite: The international community is defined by travel and being in a place that is strange to you.

The verdict is still out on whether or not I will catch the travel bug and spend my years bartending in foreign languages. But it is a romantic idea. Though I could pass my years on the corner of 9th and Cherry very peacefully, I might learn Italian and French and live in Argentina photographing for a magazine or in Uganda working in an Irish pub.

I couldn't even beat him at a staring contest.

You know that feeling you get when you realize someone you love is way cooler than you realized?

Alberto and Adam came into the bar last night and put a euro down on the foosball table. They then proceeded to kick ass. They beat the undefeated and then everyone else in the bar-twice. Then they played the first guys again and beat them about 8 times over. No one in the bar had any euros left to play my friends.

3 hours. Not a minute wasted.

Hookah fulfillment

This adventure has so far only left me feeling sane about a quarter of the time. This entire week I have been sleeping from about 5AM to 2PM instead of at night like normal people. Needless to say, I haven't gotten much done. However, Antonio is very commited to learning English and tonight he dragged me out of my safe cocoon room to a sweet Kurdish hookah bar where we studied my native language. Seriously-he brought a book. Though let me tell you, the idea that God has allowed me to make money by hanging out with a nice Italian guy at a hookah bar...is wild. I don't think I could have planned it better myself.

I also got a letter from Dylan today. He is about 6 months or so into his mission in Switzerland and being his pen pal is another great part of my life. His note was short and sweet and affirming-kind of like he is. I mean...Dylan is really kick-ass and hardcore and tough...

Anyway, despite all my breakdowns and feeling crazy, there are sweet things about this life I am living. And I will look back and remember apple tobacco, traveling friends, couchsurfers and Italian accents.

Una amistad hecho por los cielos

I feel like things are finally starting to calm down and even out in my life. A huge weight has been lifted by buying a ticket home for Christmas. Before I was so consumed by the limitations of money and the ridiculous idea that I had to tough it out for the year. I think part of me thought I would be giving up by going home (even if it was just for a few weeks). Then I started to think about what my sister would do and I realized that, no questions asked, she would have already bought the ticket. Sometimes I try to live by unnecessary rules I have made up for myself. It is good that I have let this one go. I feel like a weight has been lifted.

Aside from the wonderful Christmas to come, I finally have a job here. God pretty much just threw that one at me-I didn't even try. Twice every week I go out for coffee with Antonio, from Rome, and we talk for an hour and a half. He pays for my drink and gives me 12 euros. It is a sweet deal.

Thirdly, I am finally feel a sense of community here. Today I sat outside my Facultad with Jesús. I drank my mint tea and watched the wind blow the leaves off the trees (Fall finally found Madrid!). He smoked his Marlboros and played Justice for me on his MP3 player in classic Spanish style, us sharing the headphones.

Tonight I met a group of friends at Boñar de León, a bar I like for the free food, though Adam informed me the food was "de mierda". A mi, me da igual. But we sat around and finalized Christmas and New Year's party plans and drank wine and ate paella. Then John, Vincent, Anna and I hung out at my apartment listening to Simon and Garfunkle before going to El Junco where Vincent played his saxaphone and Anna and John sat in the back room. This jazz club is so...jazzy. There are black leather couches and the whole room is full of smoke. Everything about the place screams cool. Vincent and I stood watching the seven other saxaphone players take turns on stage and I realized that these songs I am learning at El Junco will forever remind me of Madrid. And I will have happy memories of this city.

Besos!

Amigas

I just found out that my beloved friend and sister, Amy Sharland, is going to be in France for Christmas. I feel like Cindy Lou-Who at the end of the Grinch who Stole Christmas when he gives back all the presents. I'm going to the Alps!

I am also trying to figure out how to be a better friend from across the ocean, and it kills me to know I am missing out on people's lives changing and growing. Sometimes I am homesick for my own reasons, but mostly I just wish I could be in Sarah's small group and skip class with Nancy.

If I have ever told you I love you, I still do.

-Cass

My madrileña...

is a true partner in crime
but lets me make my own mistakes
she explores this huge city with me
in a way that preserves my independence
she is excited when I'm depressed
comforting her disappointments keeps me from dwelling on my own
qué suerte that I have a friend here
who misses the same home I do

Jet Lag Ramble

It's almost 7PM in Madrid and I just woke up from last night's sleep. I feel like I stayed up all night at a sleepover or something. But I'm here. Finally.
I made it through a 2 hour drive to St. Louis with Mom & Ranch where I freaked out about how much luggage I packed and tried not to cry. Then Ranch & I overcame the coldest car on the train for a 27 hour train ride to Penn Station. Trains are lovely. No rules. We handed out cookies to strangers and drank hot tea. Then we were in NYC where I got steadily more anxious and excited. Excited to live in a big city, terrified to leave home. Shawn was calm and steady and took me to the airpot where I made a fool out of myself crying and had to spend the next half an hour conjugating spanish verbs to keep from breaking down again.
JFK was so calm and quiet compared to LAX. It made me feel even crazier. The lady who checked my bags couldn't read military time any better than I could and for about half an hour I thought I was going to miss my plane. I'm the worst traveler. I turn into this unreasonable sobbing mess. Anyway, by the time I got onto my Irish Aer Lingus flight and bought a glass of shiraz, I was settled again and reading and feeling so lucky to be on a plane full of funny accents and teal colored stewardesses. I'm used to flying Southwest, so Aer Lingus was freaking amazing. So much food! I got to watch Sex and the City.
Just as my eyes were drying out, I opened the first present from Dad (he labeled all these little packages for me to open at certain times on my trip-the first one said 'open halfway across the Atlantic'). I thought it would be a CD, so I had my CD player out all ready to switch over music. It turned out to be this book from my childhood called 'Jesus Loves You' or something, which I still knew all the words to. So of course I started crying again. My dad, somehow, KNOWS me. I'm tearing up right now thinking about it.
This year I need that kind of love, familiar love, God's love, Sarah & Nancy love. Leaving home was hard, and I woke up many mornings this summer wondering if I could live with myself if I backed out and didn't go. I woke up at Shawn's wondering why I even wanted to go to Madrid. But as I was leaving Columbia and NYC, everyone poured so many good wishes into me that I think I will be able to ration them and make it through the whole year.