Jet Lag Ramble

It's almost 7PM in Madrid and I just woke up from last night's sleep. I feel like I stayed up all night at a sleepover or something. But I'm here. Finally.
I made it through a 2 hour drive to St. Louis with Mom & Ranch where I freaked out about how much luggage I packed and tried not to cry. Then Ranch & I overcame the coldest car on the train for a 27 hour train ride to Penn Station. Trains are lovely. No rules. We handed out cookies to strangers and drank hot tea. Then we were in NYC where I got steadily more anxious and excited. Excited to live in a big city, terrified to leave home. Shawn was calm and steady and took me to the airpot where I made a fool out of myself crying and had to spend the next half an hour conjugating spanish verbs to keep from breaking down again.
JFK was so calm and quiet compared to LAX. It made me feel even crazier. The lady who checked my bags couldn't read military time any better than I could and for about half an hour I thought I was going to miss my plane. I'm the worst traveler. I turn into this unreasonable sobbing mess. Anyway, by the time I got onto my Irish Aer Lingus flight and bought a glass of shiraz, I was settled again and reading and feeling so lucky to be on a plane full of funny accents and teal colored stewardesses. I'm used to flying Southwest, so Aer Lingus was freaking amazing. So much food! I got to watch Sex and the City.
Just as my eyes were drying out, I opened the first present from Dad (he labeled all these little packages for me to open at certain times on my trip-the first one said 'open halfway across the Atlantic'). I thought it would be a CD, so I had my CD player out all ready to switch over music. It turned out to be this book from my childhood called 'Jesus Loves You' or something, which I still knew all the words to. So of course I started crying again. My dad, somehow, KNOWS me. I'm tearing up right now thinking about it.
This year I need that kind of love, familiar love, God's love, Sarah & Nancy love. Leaving home was hard, and I woke up many mornings this summer wondering if I could live with myself if I backed out and didn't go. I woke up at Shawn's wondering why I even wanted to go to Madrid. But as I was leaving Columbia and NYC, everyone poured so many good wishes into me that I think I will be able to ration them and make it through the whole year.